Royal Pain (Original Short Story)
Both versions of this story were original written by me and posted on Sword'n'Sorcery on Tumblr and later posted on the forums of RadioRivendell. The first was posted May 2, 2012 and the second was posted on May 3, 2012. Royal Pain - Version 1 (The Adventurous Heroes) Korvinicus watched the prince sleep. He had not moved at all in the course of the night, and as the sun rose higher he was beginning to think his Highness had died. The thought of it brought a smile to the spellcaster’s thin lips, but alas — Prince Hallegon finally began to stir. The adventurers in the camp froze — bracing themselves. “Why is my back so stiff?” the groggy royal exclaimed grumpily. Even if Korvinicus had not been watching, he would have recognized that nasally voice anywhere. He had heard harpies with more pleasant screeches. Gallagher, who called himself a master “locksmith” in front of the prince, smirked. “Ne’er slept outside o’ one o’ yer cushy beds, eh? Ground’ll do that, but yeh’ll get used ta it. Sooner or later.” The prince was about to retort — likely some threat about wishing to see the ruffian hanged — when a sharp called issued from the branches above. “Orc approaching from the south. Silence!” The forest elf Zaspien had taken to scouting as soon as the party had reached the woods — and he had quickly proven to everyone why wood elves make such invaluable allies. Korvinicus did not need a second warning — in an instant his hand flew to his wand and drew it up. He murmured a quick incantation and thrust the wooden rod in the direction of Prince Hallegon, surrounding him in a mystical shield of protection. Gallagher had already drawn his daggers and hidden himself away in the shadows of the surrounding trees. Xeric needed little preparation — even when idle his hand always seemed to be attached to the hilt of his sword. The prince, however, was not so used to the life of an adventurer. He fumbled around the campfire for his own blade. He had finally found it and was lifting it into a ready position when the orc finally arrived, five or six minutes later. “Peace!” the orc called out, “Me bring message!” As proof, he held a wooden scroll case in the air in one hand, and — with his other hand — began to open it. He was wearing a simple cloth tunic and The adventurers eased — though the prince remained unconvinced. His sword remained firmly pointed at the encampment’s visitor. The orc continued. His fluency with the Common tongue was much better than most Orcs in this region — undoubtedly why he had been chosen to carry out this mission. “Me called Gark. Me father Chieftain Fintaq send me to bring message of peace to Prince Hallegon. Message say…” “Kill him,” the prince ordered. Gark fell silent instantly. “What?” Xeric asked. Hallegon repeated himself. “Kill him.” “He’s talking to us of peace, and you want him executed?” Zaspien inquired, his voice floating down from the treetops. “Have you ever known a peaceful orc?” “No,” Korvinicus answered hesitantly, “But our mission here is to stop a war with the dark elves. Starting one with the orcs hardly helps us.” “Dark elves bad to orcs too,” Gark pointed out quietly. “This ain’t a time ta be racist,” Gallagher added, seeming to materialize from the trees — though nowhere near where he had vanished. “We got a job ta git done.” “If none of you will do it,” Prince Hallegon snapped, “Then I will. And I will see you all hanged when we return to my father’s castle.” Without any further warning, he charged. Panic set upon the entire camp. The orc tossed his message aside and turned to flee. Gallagher and Xeric both leapt towards the hostile royal. Korvinicus raised his wand to cast a hold spell on the prince. Zaspien, however, proved himself the fastest of the lot of them — dropping from the trees and slamming his feet into the prince’s back. They both toppled to the ground — Hallegon’s blade clattering to earth beside them. At the end of the ensuing tussle, Hallegon was face first in the dirt with Zaspien behind him, elbow pressed up behind the royal’s neck. “How dare you!” Hallegon screamed at the elf pinning him to the ground. Zaspien — like all of the adventurers — had clearly had enough of the prince’s haughtiness. “Listen very closely,” he hissed, “Your father — the king — hired us for this because we’re very good at getting things done. He sent you because supposedly you have remarkably diplomatic skill, which you have yet to show us.” Hallegon stopped struggling at this though he retorted predictably. “My father will hang you for this offense.” “We have no loyalty to your father, your land, or your laws,” Xeric pointed out, “We might just send you back to your home on your own. Because once this war has been stopped, I’m sure I will find myself caring very little about your safety.” “Indeed,” Korvinicus agreed wholeheartedly while Gallagher nodded fervently. Zaspien — obviously in the best position to argue with the prince — continued, “Until you decide to show us this marvelous skill set of yours, your job for the rest of the mission is to shut up, smile, and do what we tell you. Understood?” For once, the prince was silent. He smiled, slowly, and then nodded. Korvinicus, satisfied, turned to the orc who was watching from behind a nearby tree. “Please, Gark, tell us more about this message.” Gallagher sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Dontcha miss the days when we just had ta kill a lich and take his gold fer ourselves?” Royal Pain - Version 2 (The Adventurous Villains) Korvinicus watched the prince sleep. He had not moved at all in the course of the night, and as the sun rose higher he was beginning to think his Highness had died. The thought of it brought a smile to the spellcaster’s thin lips, but alas — Prince Hallegon finally began to stir. The adventurers in the camp froze — bracing themselves. “Why is my back so stiff?” the groggy royal exclaimed grumpily. Even if Korvinicus had not been watching, he would have recognized that nasally voice anywhere. He had heard harpies with more pleasant screeches. Gallagher, a master thief and assassin, smirked. “Ne’er slept outside o’ one o’ yer cushy beds, eh? Ground’ll do that, but yeh’ll get used ta it. If ya live long enough.” The prince was about to retort — likely some threat about wishing to see the ruffian hanged — when a sharp called issued from the branches above. “Orc approaching from the south. Silence!” The forest elf Zaspien had taken to scouting as soon as the party had reached the woods — and he had quickly proven to everyone why wood elves make such invaluable allies. Korvinicus did not need a second warning — in an instant his hand flew to his wand and drew it up. He murmured a quick incantation and thrust the wooden rod in the direction of Prince Hallegon, surrounding him in a mystical shield of protection. Gallagher had already drawn his daggers and hidden himself away in the shadows of the surrounding trees. Xeric needed little preparation — even when idle his hand always seemed to be attached to the hilt of his sword. The prince, however, was torn. He clearly could not decide between using this as an opportunity to escape — or if he should be more terrified of the orc than the adventurers. The orc arrived before he had reached a decision. “Peace!” the orc called out, “Me bring message!” As proof, he held a wooden scroll case in the air in one hand, and — with his other hand — began to open it. He was wearing a simple cloth tunic. The adventurers eased — though their weapons remained at the ready. The prince, however, chose his course. He took a cautious, quiet step towards the newcomer. The orc continued. His fluency with the Common tongue was much better than most Orcs in this region — undoubtedly why he had been chosen to carry out this mission. “Me called Gark. Me father Chieftain Fintaq send me to bring message of peace. Message say…” “Help me,” the prince ordered. Gark fell silent instantly. “What?” Xeric asked. Hallegon repeated himself. “Help me.” “He’s talking to us of peace, and you think he will help you?” Zaspien inquired, his voice floating down from the treetops. “Have you ever known an orc to help anyone from your kingdom?” Gark hesitated. “Message is for Prince Hallegon and his friends.” He seemed very confused by the situation he had stumbled into. Korvinicus frowned. “Our mission here is to start a war with the Dark Elves. Stopping one with the orcs seems somehow unnecessary.” “Dark elves maybe be orc friends instead?” Gark asked quietly. “This ain’t a time ta be friendly,” Gallagher added, seeming to materialize from the trees — though nowhere near where he had vanished. “We got a job ta git done.” “I will see you all hanged when I get home,” Hallegon snarled at his captors. Without any further warning, he charged — making a beeline for the orc, who he obviously hoped would help him to escape. Panic set upon the entire camp. The orc tossed his message aside and turned to flee. Gallagher and Xeric both leapt towards the escaping royal. Korvinicus raised his wand to cast a hold spell on the prince. Zaspien, however, proved himself the fastest of the lot of them — dropping from the trees and slamming his feet into the prince’s back. They both toppled to the ground. At the end of the ensuing tussle, Hallegon was face first in the dirt with Zaspien behind him, elbow pressed up behind the royal’s neck. “How dare you!” Hallegon screamed at the elf pinning him to the ground. Zaspien — like all of the adventurers — had clearly had enough of the prince’s haughtiness. “Listen very closely,” he hissed, “The Dark Elf Emperor hired us for this because we’re very good at getting things done. He wants you because you supposedly have some kind of value to your father. But you’re not valuable to us.” Hallegon stopped struggling at this though he retorted predictably. “My father will hang you for this offense.” “We have no loyalty to your father, your land, or your laws,” Xeric pointed out, “What makes you think — if you ever, by some miracle, make it back to your home alive that you will ever find us again?” “Indeed,” Korvinicus agreed wholeheartedly while Gallagher nodded fervently. Zaspien — obviously in the best position to argue with the prince — continued, “Unless you somehow become valuable to us, it is in your best interest to stop talking altogether.” Gallagher stepped over to the elf and produced a length of rope from his pack — it was certainly past time to bind the captive. For once, the prince was silent. He did not even struggle as his hands and feet were tied. Korvinicus, satisfied, turned to the orc who was watching from behind a nearby tree. “Please, Gark, tell us more about this message.” The sarcasm was lost on the orc, who stepped out from his hiding spot… and promptly burst into flames. Gallagher sighed, rubbing his forehead once the orc’s screaming had died out. “Dontcha miss the days when we just had ta raid a castle and take the gold fer ourselves?” Category:Original Stories Category:Needs Images Category:Royal Pain